Nothing But Flowers
by PhantomAL
Summary: AU Parody of Clerks 2. In their late twenties, Danny and Tucker are working at the Nasty Burger. Danny is moving away to Florida with his fiance. Will Tucker and Sam sucsessfully keep him in New Jersey?


Once again, I will now both parody and screw-over a movie by adding both my own twist to it and putting DP in it. But this is different, because this is my first "M" rated story, and probably my only one. It's only for language and a bunch of sex jokes. Let the monstrosity begin!  
I don't own "Clerks II" or DP.  
PhantomAL

* * *

Nothing But Flowers

A car drove down the streets of Leonardo, New Jersey, only 15 minutes from Amity Park. In the car was a man in his late 20's with raven black hair and a goatee. He was wearing a blue jacket and black shirt with torn up blue jeans that covered his black boots. He parked in the parking lot of Quick Stop Groceries, a convenience store that this man has been working at for the past 10 years. Apparently, college was not gonna work for him.

The man was Daniel Fenton.

"Same as it ever was…" Danny muttered as he walked up to the window shutters and unlocked them. He flung the shutters up to see the store on fire.

Wait…

On _fire!_

Danny was frozen for a second as he closed the shutters and stared at them for a minute. He shook his head, gathering his thoughts. He opened the shutters again to see if his eyes were working, which they were. The store _was_ apparently on fire, and was burning down like crazy.

Danny stepped away as he pulled out his cell phone and dialed 911 quickly.

"Yeah, I got a fire at the Quick Stop in Leonardo…" he somewhat-yelled into the receiver. He lost the ability to talk as he stared at the Quick Stop burn, seeing the place he worked for over a decade slowly disappear from his mind and his life.

* * *

The fire department came and sprayed the place down as Danny sat down on the curb, staring at the store with an empty look on his face. He saw someone walk into the store. This someone was African-American, had a red beret on his head, with a black jacket and a t-shirt with "Thick Skulls" on it. He wore blue jeans and Converse All-Stars. It was Tucker Foley. Tucker was also a worker at the Quick Stop, although the term "worker" didn't really describe Tucker.

Danny watched Tucker with an annoyed look as Tuck walked into the Quick Stop, not even noticing the burnt debris around him. A fireman pushed Tucker out. Tuck walked over to Danny, sitting down next to him. Danny didn't even look next to him, his eyes glued to the stop.

"Terrorists?" Tucker asked, referring to what happened to the store.

Danny shook his head "no".

"Pyromaniacs?" Tucker asked again.

Danny shook his head for the second time.

Another minute passed as Tucker finally realized what happened.

"I left the coffee pot on again, didn't I?"

Danny nodded.

One word escaped both Danny and Tucker's lips at the same time.

"Fuck"

* * *

One year later, Danny rode up to Tucker's apartment. Danny was wearing a white Nasty Burger uniform and jeans, as brown shoes covered his feet. Tucker walked out of the apartment building's door and got in Danny's car. Tucker was also wearing a white Nasty Burger uniform, however it was unbuttoned, revealing a black shirt with a white skull with a nail in it. Danny drove the car towards the direction of the Nasty Burger.

Danny and Tucker had been working at the Nasty Burger for the past year. And today was Danny's last day working and his last day in New Jersey. Because he was engaged to Paulina Sanchez and was moving down to Florida the next day.

"So," Tucker said, "you ready for your last day?"

"Yes, I am" Danny said, grinning.

"When do you and your old lady movin' down to Florida?"

"Tomorrow morning, the car's all packed up"

"You gonna do anything crazy for your last day in Jersey?" Tuck said, grinning.

"How long have you known me, Tucker?" Danny asked. "When have I even done anything crazy?"

"If I were you, I'd spray paint "EAT PUSSY" on the Nasty Burger wall" Tucker said.

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"Let them know you were there, man"

"I'd rather let them know I wasn't an asshole"

"Too late for that" Tucker said.

Danny ignored him.

"I'm gonna miss you man" Danny said, smiling a bit.

Danny stopped in front of the old, broken-down Quick Stop. It was now covered with wood, which was covered head-to-toe with graffiti.

"I can't believe they haven't done anything with it yet" Tucker said.

"God did something to it" Danny said. "He smited that hell-hole"

"Hell-hole…Listen to you. Do you even miss that place at all?"

"God, no" Danny said, not taking his eyes off the wrecked building. "Do you?"

If Danny had been looking, he would've seen Tucker give a shrug and a small smile.

"I didn't think so" Danny said, driving away, leaving both the building and his past behind him.

* * *

Finally, Danny and Tucker made it to the Nasty Burger. What was once their old hangout in high school became their jobs.

_The C.A.T. tests don't lie…_ Danny thought.

They got out of the car and looked at the side of the Nasty Burger where they parked. On the side was the words "EAT PUSSY" in large, black spray paint. Danny looked at it both angrily and horrified, as Tucker grinned at it, admiring his own handiwork.

Danny and Tucker were in charge of getting the restaurant ready for the morning "rush". The truth is, Nasty Burger hasn't really been getting much business lately. In fact the most people in the store at once had been 14.

Danny turned on the coffee machine; Tucker got the eggs cooking on the prep table. They got the meat ready, the buns chopped, they got everything done for the morning. And yet, they were the only people dumb enough to get to work at 6 am.

* * *

"Ok, we need two Nasty Eggs and we're almost out of hash browns" Danny said, calling for Tucker.

"One second…" Tucker said. He was typing something on a website blog on his laptop.

"NOW Tucker" Danny said into the microphone, causing the two Goth customers to jump back from the loudness.

Tucker chuckled as he hopped across the counter and back into the kitchen.

"What were you writing over there, your memoirs?" Danny asked.

"I'm battling this jackass at his blog's message board" Tucker said, making the Nasty Egg sandwiches.

"About what?"

"About how he's got no life and way too much free time on his hands"

"Says the guy flaming him on his website" Danny said, rolling his eyes.

"I can't help it, the guy pisses me off" Tucker said. "It's Wheelieblog dot org. It's this fuck in a wheelchair who writes these long diatribes saying that he can never walk again and that people with functioning legs shouldn't take advantage of their working legs"

"Those "diatribes" sound like some poor, crippled guy pouring his heart out in word form"

"Oh, fuck him, trying to guilt me into walking more often just because he can't" Tucker said, working on the hash browns now. "So I've been getting into it on the blog, saying that I'd much rather sit around and drive to the end of the block rather than walk, shoving it right in his crippy-boy face"

"The guy's in a _wheelchair!_" Danny yelled.

"Yeah, that's why I called him "crippy-boy"" Tucker said, giving the customers the food. "Have a good one" he said to them.

"Fuckin' freak" the girl Goth said to Tucker, pulling her Goth husband by his earrings and leading him out the door.

"I'm not even gonna point out the irony on this one" Tucker said.

"What is wrong with you, Tuck?" Danny asked.

"What did I do wrong now?"

"There is a handicapped man pouring out his heart and soul on a blog and you somehow find a way to put him down"

"What "handicapped"? He's in a wheelchair!" Tucker said. "It's not like he's Anne Frank"

"Anne Frank?" Danny asked, getting confused by Tucker's so-called "logic".

"Yeah, the girl who was all spastic and everything until the Miracle Worker knocked some smarts into her" Tucker said.

"You're talking about Helen Keller" Danny said.

"No, I'm talking about Anne Frank. She was deaf, dumb, and blind"

"No…Helen Keller was deaf, dumb, and blind. Anne Frank was the little girl who hid in a secret room during World War II. She wrote a diary?..."

"Oh yeah…" Tucker said, finally getting it. "Well, I guess this guy is like Anne Frank, with the diary and all"

"No! He's like Helen Keller, ya jerk!" Danny yelled.

"You always gotta be right, do you?" Tucker said, walking over to the drive-thru window. "Ya Nazi douchebag…"

"Thank God this is my last day…" Danny muttered.

Little did Danny know that this "last day" would change his life forever.

* * *

Ok, who here did I offend? Well, I'm putting this story up not to offend people. But to rule out the people who can't take a joke. And for all people who closed the window after the word "Fuck", you don't have to read it. But for those who have a sense of humor and who can take a joke, the next chapter will be here soon. Read and review, don't flame.  
PhantomAL 


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